living on a prayer

My heart knows no words today.I don't know why things happen. I don't understand why someone would shoot innocent people before taking their own life. I don't understand why it is so easy to acquire weapons. And today, I admit, I don't and perhaps, never will understand the human pyshce.

It breaks my heart to think about the families and friends who lost their loved ones yesterday. It breaks my heart to think, if only those kids hadn't gone to class that day. If only, they knew.. If only, the university had better security... if only...

Why has it become a fashion statement to go out with a bang and a dozen other lives? Did Cho Seung-Hui even realize that he was taking real lives? Killing, real, breathing people?  He came loaded with ammunition. Why and how can a 23 year old have access to it? I'm helpless and puzzled -- I just need to understand, how is this possible. 

There are no words, and yet words are my only escape. My prayers are with the victim's families and friends and also Cho Seung-Hui's family who I hope will be mericfully forgiven for not knowing what was to come. And I also pray for those of us struggling to understand why things happen -- I pray that we never understand that.

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